……time to get awkward.
Setting boundaries with family is possible – and is allowed. Just because they’re family it doesn’t mean they are disqualified from boundary setting – physical and emotional. Sometimes our families ‘needs’ result in too much physical and mental demands on us.
Examples:
- Expectations of always being ‘available’
- Family comes and goes when you are not home
- Ongoing gatherings – every Sunday, every holiday, every event…..
- You are one of four siblings, but most support of family tasks are asked of you
If you feel that you are an open🚪 to always being there – your door will fall off its hinges.
If you don’t feel like a🚪 but you are consistently talking (complaining) about how much time you are dedicating to “helping out”….maybe that is a sign there are some boundary concerns.
What I am trying to encourage you to do is acknowledge the pressures you are taking on and what it may be doing to you. Are you giving more to others, and not taking care of yourself?
I want you to put yourself first – and no NOT in a bitchy/asshole way. Setting boundaries with family with empower you to put you first, and find a better balance in your life.
Let’s Get out the Journal ✍️:
- Make a list of all the ‘support’ and ‘time’ you have been providing – every detail.
- IMPORTANT – Walk away from your list for 24 hours.
- Review the list – and add all those things you have missed.
- Prioritize your list with the OMG cannot stop doing to ummmmm why? – note reason(s).
- Highlight the top tasks that you consider important; and highlight those that ‘maybe’ you don’t need to be doing so often.
- Set up a meeting with your family – let them know you are looking for some help (#noshame).
When you meet with your family – it may be awkward – but this is a grown-up conversation you all can handle. This meeting is coming from a place of love and support – be gentle and kind💕.
This is not a ‘look at me and all the amazing stuff’ you do moment. This is ‘I can’t keep up’ discussion and ‘need help’ conversation. Talk about things you can keep doing, and the things you can’t….come up with a plan together. Be vulnerable. Be humble. Be Honest.
Big Hugs – you got this. Boundaries are not easy – if they were our world would be full of walls.
Need help identifying and setting boundaries with your family – give me a call and let’s chat. You don’t have to do this alone.
