Oh man there are soooo many tips (and tricks) when it comes to email.  I could write a novel on Email Etiquette – “The Secret Work Killer – Email”…working title.

Email Etiquette 101

Since I am all about Business Specific let’s focus on the ANGER FRUSTRATING Email Replies….you all have been there!  You get a email or a response to your email and it is NASTY – mean, condescending, rude, confusing….just not normal human communication.

These emails make you feel like shit – the green and yellow ooozy kind. They make your stomach turn, your face go flush, and you want to smack your head in frustration. So many emotions and justifications of stupidity are going through our mind – specifically “I can’t believe I have to deal with this shit”.

First Impulse – Email NO-NO

The normal (yes normal) response to a even a hint of email aggressive or offensive email is to get DEFENSIVE and respond back with the same attitude.  And don’t BS me that you haven’t been there – we have all been there.  #sorrynotsorry . You want to shut this down – the attitude, the assumption and the stupidity.

Two Can Play At That Game

…..said everyone playing defensively

Don’t – please – Don’t. Check your emotions at the door. I am here to help you re-find your professionalism…not text book professionalism….your career professional.

How to Respond to the NASTY Emails

If you are ready to ‘Go to the Mattresses‘ – try this instead:

1. WALK AWAY – literally – walk away from the email, your computer, and take a big breath.  If the email has got you fired up let this be a signal that it is NOT the time to respond.
2. Re-Read the email – Identify and focus on the underlying issue. Where is this anger or concern coming from? Is it personal or professional? Are you missing part of the story or situation.
3. Optional – Have your mentor or Leader read the email. Ask for insight or interpretation only….you are not looking for them to solve this for you.
4. Pick up the phone – Let’s get OLD school and pick up the phone. Call this person and talk to them. DO NOT EMAIL BACK.  I encourage you to have a conversation about the situation – as awkward as it could be. Be strong – you got this. Final tip – stand up while you are on the phone…it helps…promise.

Why Call Vs Email:

• The power of a persons voice (tone) is easier to read and adapt to vs. typed out words.
• In some cases individuals may hide behind their computer – a source of power – even the field and talk.
• Use words like “I feel like you are frustrated….”, “What can we do to make this work….”, “Is there something else bothering you….”
• Be human – don’t hide behind your computer.  Step up – be a leader, a team player, and professional.
• If through the conversation – you are at fault (or your company) – own it! Apologize and move forward. Apologizing is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of leadership, accountability, and maturity.
• Get to the source of the issue – 9/10 times the issue is not the subject of the email. There maybe a previous issue that is still causing frustration. ASK!

I am 90% confident that having a conversation will result in a better and stronger professional relationship.

Next Steps – Email Etiquette 101

Once you have had the conversation – which I bet went much better than you thought – NOW YOU CAN EMAIL back with a recap and next steps in an email.

Start your email with a ‘thank you’ for the time and the discussion. If applicable – be honest about any misinterpretations, or misunderstandings, or acknowledgement of frustrations.

Keep your email short after this – and to the point. What was solved, and what happens next. Take all the guess work or assumptions out of the email – you and they don’t have time for it!

Close your email – ‘hey next time you are feeling frustrated – give me a call.’

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Hope you enjoyed this quick snippet on Email Etiquette. Like I indicated earlier I could write a ‘graphic’ novel on how emails can screw up professional relationships – ‘Emails that Kill’ – working title! lol.

If you ARE in a situation where you are getting (or sending) emails that are causing more problems than helping your business move forward please drop me an email – blalahaahah. Let’s set up a time to talk.

If your WHOLE team is sucking at email etiquette – I have a workshop for that! Let’s plan it together – over the phone!

📷Credit: Unsplash – @jeshoots, @alex_andrews