Yes it is a thing
It has been a very busy two weeks – needless to say.
The kids were sick, the husband was out of town, the dog hurled, it has been so cold out and I started a new course. Good Times.
I have to admit with the husband being out of town and having the bed all to myself has been a dream….don’t get me wrong I miss him, buuuutttttt.
Finally Getting Better – Healthier That Is
As of last night the kids were both clearly feeling better!
How do I know this? Well the cursing, the fighting and the ‘throwing under the bus’ was in full throttle. The hitting followed – more like jabs, but still annoying.
The house was no longer quiet – the house was now vibrating with annoyance about everything.
I was so happy they were feeling better, but how quickly did I notice how loud the house went, how the hugs slowed down, and an instant reminder of what normal life looks like…Chaos Without Kleenex.
The Moment I was about to Break
The night all came to a head when I (ME) was personally attacked for not carrying one of my kids stuff up the stairs! I was actually called out and yes cursed at for not helping!!! HUH??
Yes I got in trouble for not helping – what the what??
>>>>>>>>>>Insert Rant /Raging – Part 1 <<<<<<<<
I have spent the past two weeks at their beckon-call and I got snapped at for not carrying something upstairs!!! Are you fucking kidding me??
Oh I could vent/whine/complain/bitch on the number of times I have asked for help and got none. Or how they step over the laundry basket and claim they didn’t know it was clean. Of the hundreds of glasses wrappers, and other shit left laying around the house that I cleaned up because I can’t handle the mess….yes it is my issue right??!
So what did I do when this happen??
I gave myself a time out!
I walked away. I bit my tongue and walked away….okay it might have been more of a sulk of defeat and exhaustion….but I intentionally chose to walk away vs. rage out on the kid!
Oh don’t get me wrong – I really wanted to rage out my frustration. It took everything in my soul to walk away and not yell! I wanted to lose my shit right there and then.
I walked into the kitchen and took a few deep breaths. I was suppose to be making dinner, but screw that. Nope – I walked away.
I went upstairs – I’ll fold laundry? Nope – I walked away from that too.
Back downstairs and headed for the couch. Remote in hand, but TV not on.
I was still deep breathing mode – I was so mad, disappointed, frustrated, fully of shame and felt like total shit. Is this what my life has come to? House Cleaner/Uber/Cook Status?? Pity Party moment.
>>>>>>>>Not a Rant – But Yes it is another Full Rant – Part 2 <<<<<<<<<
(Permission to not read this part)
I have worked so hard as a parent for the past two weeks catering to these sick kiddos – to their hockey schedules and travel/driving accommodations. I have been their Uber Driver, their cook, their caregiver, and have not slept. The husband has been out of town for majority of the past two weeks. The house is still standing, the laundry is done, the dishes are done, and the drive way has been shovelled (-38).
I sat there in silence and calmed the fwk down. This was my time out. I deserved this time to ME.
Eventually I stood up – turned on the tv – and then sat my ass back down.
The Final Outcome
I didn’t rage on them. I didn’t ask for their apologies. I focused only on me – and what I wanted to order for dinner, what I wanted to watch on tv and what I wanted to do with my time.
Skip the dishes was delivered 45 minutes later. Laundry was left alone. I picked the TV channel(s) – and hockey wasn’t one of them! #sorrynotsorry
Before dinner arrived both the kids apologized for being assholes – not in those words. I got a few hugs too! I appreciated it – fully.
Everyone was in bed by 9:30 pm.
I went to sleep without stressing over the nights events – it was a distant memory….until I realized it would make a great blog post! LOL Doh!
Lessons Learned – Grown Up Time Outs are……
- determine ONLY by the Grown Up.
- a thing and should be practised often – deal with it kids (and Partners).
- absolutely NOT about making mistakes.
- about quiet time for YOU.
- about self-reflection and self-care.
- a great (and maybe?) only time it is okay to SLAM a door that loud and scare your kids into guilt about what they may have done (maybe??).
- where-ever you want them to be – in bed, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, in your car, or on a walk.
- to be used when are about to, or have already, lost your shit about something that was not worth your energy. Ex – kids asking you to you a tissue while they play Fortnite.
- a good option over losing your shit on your kids, or Partner.
- Grown up Time Outs are Always Okay!
Spend your energy on you!
I love my family. But I love my time-outs too.
Photo Credit: Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash
