Breaking Up (Resigning) Is Hard To Do
Resigning from your job can be closely compared to breaking up with your boyfriend (or girlfriend).
You have dedicated so many years, made some amazing memories, learned a lot about them (and you), and most likely gave up so much of your own personal life for this relationship. So yes breaking up is hard to do – even if the relationship isn’t ending amicably.
Quitting vs. Resigning
Some refer to resigning as ‘quitting’. I find the word ‘quitting’ way too negative and open ended to more of story that is no one’s business. It sounds like you have given up – and I am pretty confident you haven’t given up if you are off to bigger and better things!
When resigning you are not ‘quitting’ you are resigning from your position – YOU are gracefully moving on from this experience and on to something bigger, better or maybe just moving on.
How Do Resign with Grace and Professionalism
First off I have to – no I MUST – get this out of the way. I am about to be super duper blunt – so hold on tight.
When resigning from your previous employer this moment is NOT the time to get on our soap box and preach about how they have done you and everyone and everything WRONG.
No NO NO NO!!!
That ship of pity party or complaining has sailed – if you haven’t had those tough conversations then unfortunately this isn’t NOW the time to have them.
Now that big NO NO is out of the way – phew and awkward not?! Let’s focus on the act of Resignation. I promise to cover ‘The Lead Up To Resigning’ in the future – but for now this post is focusing ONLY on the ACT of Resignation.
Check List ☑️ on How To Gett’er Done at Resigning
In Order of Operation!
When it is time to resign from your position I highly recommend following these order of events to ensure you have covered all the requirements both formally and mentally.
Remember this is not your soap box moment – I can’t stress this enough. You are taking the high road. Okay – done stressing on that point – let’s get into it! Step 1️⃣…..
1️⃣ NEW Opportunity Lock Down
Before you can move forward you MUST have your new offer locked down. If your new opportunity has not provided paper work/contract/offer/agreement, and if you haven’t signed, you cannot move forward until this is complete. A verbal agreement or text message does not count (#sorrynotsorry).
2️⃣ NEW Start Date
Once you have your NEW agreement you should have a CONFIRMED Start Date. This is your timeline kickoff date! Very Exciting! Feel free to insert 💃 Happy Dance 💃 moment(s).
Side Note: I recommend to all my friends and clients to try and work in a significant break between the old and new job/opportunity. If you can give yourself a minimum of two weeks that would be great, but if you can afford a MONTH off – please go for it. You deserve some time to you – to re-find you and chill out.
#selfcare101
3️⃣ OLD/Current Agreement – Notice of Resignation
Not all employers require two-week notice – some may require months. Your notice date will vary depending on your industry and your position. Your days of notice requirements will be included in your current employment agreement, or under company policies.
The higher/executive positions may require months notice to provide time to support your transition out, and a replacement in. The higher the pay the longer it may take to find a replacement.
If you are in the financial/banking/investment industry ($$) – due to privacy and confidentiality of your role – your two week notice is likely a formality and your last day in the “office” will be the day you hand in your resignation.
$$ Industry: Heads up you will be most likely walked out immediately after you hand in your resignation – regardless if you and your boss are buddies (don’t worry you will still get paid out for your two weeks). This is done for security reasons – don’t take it personally.
If you are unable to find information on minimal notice requirements then you should assume a minimum of two weeks.
4️⃣ Resignation Timeline
Map out your timeline. This can be done on a post it note, or on a calendar. Using a calendar is much easier. Work backwards – starting with your New Start Date – which you have already negotiated, time off, two week notice, and day of letter resignation hand in.
Consider:
- New Start Date
- Prep For New Opportunity – HR loose end tie ups, pre-meeting?, new ‘job’ clothes?
- Self-Care/Vacation Time.
- Office de-clutter, clean out, and move out.
- Personal file downloads and deletes – aka all those family pics that you have on your desktop.
- Two Weeks Notice: 10 business days from the date the letter was handed in.
- Example: If you are resigning on October 1st, your last day in your position would be Oct 14th.
- Reminder: Review your employment agreement to understand the minimal requirement of days notice to reference in your letter.
Tip: DO NOT PUT OFF RESIGNING! Once you have your new start date it is time to resign.
You are not doing anyone any favours by waiting or delaying – not your team, your boss, your co-workers, your family, you or your new opportunity.
5️⃣ Resignation Letter – Mental Prep
With your timeline mapped out now we can get to the good stuff….lol….the dreaded letter.
Reminder (again) this letter is not your soap box – we are going to keep it simple and stick to the facts.
The Resignation letter is a formal and official HR document – it is not a breakup love letter! Your Resignation letter kicks off the formal process of you leaving, the Company ending their relationship with you, and subsequently all the paperwork that follows (HR, Taxes, Payroll, Security, and parking 🤣...inside joke for me).
6️⃣ Writing the Resignation Letter
In your letter you will need to ‘resign’, advise of your departure date, and a short note of appreciation for years of service. That is it!
Your letter should be typed out and dated the day you are handing it in – and no it is not the time to pull out the textured paper, or scented markers. Write the damn letter on plain white paper – print it off and sign it.
Use the template provide….don’t stray from the basics!
7️⃣ Schedule “The Meeting”
You thought writing the letter was hard – of course it wasn’t since I provided ⬆️ you a FREE template. Duh!
However, now is the hard, emotional, pull up the ‘Big Girl Panties‘ (or ‘tighty-whities’) moment.
That letter is burning a hole in your soul – right?
So let’s pull those undies up and schedule a meeting with your direct boss/leader/supervisor right now. Schedule it for today – sooner the better. No putting this off!
If your boss is out of the office schedule it for tomorrow morning – first thing. If they are gone for the week – then you need to chose to wait (uggg) or schedule a conference call for today.
Meeting Request:
- Subject: Catch Up
- Body: Hey Boss – Let’s catch up.
⏩ OH OH – Confused Boss 😮 How To Handle The Awkwardness ⏪
After you have scheduled “The Meeting” a couple things may happen if you don’t normally or consistently meet with your boss.
I am now (Jen) desperately trying not to judge your boss or you – but if you do meet often scheduling a last minute ‘touch base’ meeting shouldn’t be out of the norm.
Unfortunately for most of you – you don’t actively engage/communicate with your boss – another blog post topic for another time…..
If meeting with your boss is outside the norm this meeting will / may throw off your boss and they may contact you to ask ‘what is wrong, or what is up’. Or opposite – they will avoid you, reschedule your meeting, or not show up. AvoidanceMuch?
Don’t worry – hold your ground you got this. I need you to be in control of YOU – until you hand in that Piece of Resignation Paper you still work there!
What if your boss wants to move up the meeting??
Go for it. You got this. Your letter is ready and all you need to do is hand it in. Go to step 8️⃣ .
8️⃣ The Meeting – Resigning to Your Boss
Deep Breath – you go this.
You are about to venture down the hallway of change – you are in control. One step in front of the other – and no don’t run🏃♀️…. walk like a normal person.
Put your letter in your notebook, hold your head up high and walk into the office/meeting room and sit down.
Simple right – lol – just wait till you actually have to do it. Your heart may race and might have some sweaty palms. Or maybe you are giddy and excited – regardless this is your moment, and it is one of the best learning moments you are about to go through….seriously.
After you sit down you may want to go into some general chit chat — but I warn you the letter 📄 is the only thing that will be on your mind. So keep the chitchat to a minimum and then go for it….let the letter do most of the talking.
SUGGESTION: “Hey Boss – Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice. I need to let you know that I am putting in my formal resignation with you today.”
Hand over the letter of resignation
Now depending on your relationship with your boss the conversation could go so many ways:
- Oh Wow.
- Please don’t leave.
- Sorry to see you go.
- Where are you going?
- When?…even though it is in your letter
- Why?
- Please clean out your office – I will have someone walk you to your office.
- I need to call my boss or HR.
- Tell me more.
- Fuck Off – Really?
- No Really Fuck Off.
Regardless of what happens after – remember you have made this decision, you have accepted the new offer, you have not asked your boss prior to this conversation to counter another opportunity (that ship has sailed), the decision is made – stand behind it and resign….you are breaking up this work relationship with grace.
Take the high road, hold your head high, and head back to your office once you are done with the meeting.
Sit Down, Deep breath, you have Resigned!
🎉 CONGRATS 🎉
You have officially resigned from you now previous employer and are officially on the road to your new adventure! How does it feel? Scary, exciting and crazy!?
So Proud of You!
Final TidBits of Advice – Take or Leave it
Two Weeks Notice 🗓
When you indicate your date in your letter this is your formal notice of two-weeks. You do not need to justify it, and or spell it out “this is my two weeks.” The letter’s date indicates two weeks from the time you are presenting the letter. If your boss wants to change this date – they need more time – then you can have that discussion.
Soap Box 📦
So many individuals want to use their resignation to “send a message.” They want to talk / preach about how miserable they were. They want to use their resignation as an opportunity to say everything that has been bottled up….and most think this is the time, the place, and people will have to listen.
Guess What? Wrong! It is not the time and no one will really listen! And your boss or the Company won’t be thinking any positive memories of you going forward….awkward!!!
Here’s the thing – they already know how miserable you are and they don’t know how or what to do next. If you need a soap box – reach out to a business coach or a HR contact to discuss your issues and how to address them with your Boss/Leader….before you resign.
Assumption that When You Leave – Others Will Follow 🚶♀️
First off – only worry about you.
What other people do when or after you leave is their business. And vice-versa – these “other” people are only worried about themselves. Keep your business focused on you.
The Two Weeks In the Office – Post Resignation 💻
If your boss hasn’t let you leave earlier than the two-weeks sorry to say but you gotta go to work and show up! These two-weeks are still work and there is a pay cheque to come. Please Please support any transition to the new person or prepping your team with respect and honesty – do the training. Be the better person and get’er done.
Oh and please don’t be late to work!! You need to keep working and represent the best of who you are. Just because you are leaving it doesn’t mean you get a pass on being an asshole and not showing up – mentally or physically.
Your image is still in play – and super important to your future. Consider you MAY end up wanting to coming back, or need a reference, or end up working with some of your ‘old’ co-workers. Be professional!
Company Cell Phone 📱
Do you get to keep your cell number and phone? Ummmmm this is tricky – keep reading.
PSA: You do not own your work phone and you don’t own the phone number either! The only way you can own this is if the contract is IN your name and YOU are paying the bills. If the number is registered with your Company – the Phone and its number is the Companies.
There are options:
- The obvious is that you can walk away from your phone and number and you can get a new phone and number.
- You can try and download your contact information – Google how to.
- Ask your employer for a Transfer of Service Agreement – HR or Tech support with have this piece of paper. Your boss will need to sign it, and then it can be taken to your provider to find out next steps. You may have to buy out a contract – which might be costly.
- You may be able to keep the phone number, and leave the hardware. Review the Transfer of Service Agreement to find out how much time is left on the contract to find out your options.
Exit Interview🚪
If you are thinking your Exit Interview will be your Soap Box opportunity – think again. Most exit interviews are super boring and very official. In most cases they are done by your Boss – as instructed by HR.
Your Exit Interview will be a check list of items and questions your boss will need to go through (as instructed by HR). The interview will be done on your last day, and at the end of your ‘day’ in the office.
If applicable it may include the following:
- Collect: Laptop, company credit card, cell phone, security pass, parking pass, FOB for your computer, pwds for email and online folders.
- Office Walk through – keys to desk and office door, and file location low down.
- Confirm home and/or mailing address, and possible contact number.
- Handshake – Outta There!
That’s it folks. It is just a check list of formalities – nothing more.
If you are looking to have the final say – don’t! If you had an issue prior to resigning it should have been resolved or addressed before resigning ….. ugg I feel like I am over killing this point (#sorrynotsorry). If you need someone too vent to – take it out of the office. Choose the high road – choose to rock your resignation and focus on your next adventure.
FINAL PSA Moment by Jen
Goodbye Party 🥳
Okay I have super mixed emotions about farewell parties (not retirements) – I am referring to the ‘i am outta here guys’ party. Employers should be celebrating new hires, and not congratulation or celebrating for those leaving…celebrating departures seems wrong to me.
Resignation Wrap Up
Well that’s a wrap folks. Not all the information I have provided may be applicable to your situation – no resignation or situation is the same….and unlikely they ever will be.
Your Resignation – your walk out – is your story! Own it.
The best advise I can give to you is to hold you head up high and learn from this experience….even if you are the one accepting a team mates resignation. You never know what the future may hold for you.
ARE YOU READY to tackle your next adventure?? Or maybe you need a BOOST to understand your options? Drop me a line and let’s chat. We can work through your situation together – more fun with Friends!
📷: Unsplash – @jeshoots, @plushdesignstudio, @jasmund, @romanbozhko, @helloimnik, @minhphamdesign