with Professionalism and Class
A Story on How I lost my Job And Found My Dream Job
I wonder if you are thinking – ‘Why is she sharing a negative story such as losing her job!?’ Awkward? TMI? Whinny?
And now you are thinking ‘Should I read this?’
Hell ya you should! Who doesn’t turn away when they see a train wreck?
Now when does come to any sort of wreckage — some people do stop and watch the issue/crash unfold and gawk like they have never seen this before. Then there are the others who try to help, or at least call for help.
My story is being told to encourage you to watch (well read) my wreck and learn from it — no worries about helping me …. I am good (Thanks for the offer).
My story of losing my job is exactly what it is – a story, my story. Many have gone through it – and many will continue to go through it.
Losing a job is not unique or special – getting laid off, being released, or fired is quite normal and an acceptable practise in all career and business worlds. However, in our society we tend focus on happy stories and the now the wreckage stories.
Been There – Done That
As a Leader I have done my own share of releasing and firing individuals – I admit. I have had the reaper role.
The whole experience is not one of the top any reasons to love a job. On the other side of it – it is a good challenge associated with being a good leader.
The lead up and the act of doing the actual release is very stressful. So yeah I have done it – it was part of my job and was necessary. I always owned the decision, the act and the responsibility of doing it with professionalism and class.
No one wants to be good at letting people go – I remember labeling others as the grim reaper of careers/jobs? (now I feel bad — sorta). I have quickly learned in my career that no one really wants to be the barer of bad news, to be responsible for making that decision, owning that decision and potentially harming someone’s day/week/life/family. Unfortunately I have done the task of letting employees because others couldn’t – or didn’t want to (#headsmack)
Fact: Letting people go is part of running a successful business. Fit Matters. Money Matters. Sustainability Matters.
Lesson:
Whatever the reason it is – it has to happen. It sucks and we all make it through – regardless of what side of the table you are sitting on. It is what you do after you leave that board or meeting room that counts the most. How you walk out of the room matters!
My Story – My Release
I knew my release was coming. I had actually mentally prepped myself and a few of my close friends, my therapist and the Husband of this pending moment. They all thought I was crazy to even think this would happen – but I wasn’t crazy – I was a realist.
Here’s the other thing I am a very SMART women who knows business and how to read people very well.
This was going to happen – the writing was on the wall …. well really in the data ( I am an analysis / spreadsheet junkie) . My only miss was naive to think it would happen in the New Year. Honestly there is no “perfect time” to release anyone – there are always good reason(s) to put it off one more day, week, month, hour….but no you shouldn’t put it off (another story). Putting it off to worse for everyone.
Advice: Rip the bandaid – you got to this decision to let this person go for a reason. Don’t delay letting someone go because you feel bad.
As much as I knew this moment was going to happen – it does not mean I was fully mentally prepared for it. I didn’t want this to happen. I had really hoped the Company would have kept me. Oh well. Their lost right?
The PFO (Please or Political Fuck Off)
I feel like it happened on a Tuesday or maybe it was a Thursday? Doesn’t matter – well it does, the Day of the Week (DOW) was the right day.
Tip: When letting go of an employee the day of the week and time of the day matters. Tues, Wed, and Thurs are best Within 1/2 hour of the start of their day.
It happened pretty quick – as it should. Majority of the office was not in the building – it was around 8 am – good timing. They came into my office and asked me to join them in the boardroom.
FLAG!!! DING DING!! WARNING BELLS!!!
In my head I was “OMG this is happening – the time and day of week all right!! Shit should I bring my jacket and purse with me? Should I bring my notebook? My phone for sure!”
Deep Breath – I got this!
What did I actually do?? (Don’t judge – okay judge – it is pretty funny)
I asked the person point blank if I was being fired? Very quietly of course – I am a professional lol in this moment of humiliation. AND then I started to awkwardly laugh because the face of the individual was far from a poker face. Maybe it was more like a giggle?
I grabbed my phone, my notebook and walked down the hall – head held high! I wanted to be in control – I got this, I am not special. This was my first time being fired – or was it being let go? TBD really at that time.
“The Meeting”
I sat down at the boardroom table – it felt like an interview that I was prepared for. They both sat across from me and pity sighed. I don’t think they looked me in the eye now that I reflect on it – oh well doesn’t matter to me at this point. I am being let go – OMG!! This is happening — do I stare? do I glare? Do I cry? Don’t cry!!!!
They continued with the pity look and read the standard PFO letter — and just like that I was released. That wasn’t so bad – still alive! Phew!
Do I get to call a friend now?? Right this isn’t a game show!!
Business Jen kicked in quickly (it never really had left – yet) and I made sure they were releasing me without cause, and that they knew I understood what was happening.
“The Wrap Up – (and FPO Moment)”
I thanked them for their honesty and appreciated the time that I had to work there. The pity look disappeared instantly and so did one of my table attendees – off to get my stuff.
I eventually did tear up when the HR person asked “how I was?” Really? Okay this annoyed me huge – did she want to see my shame more? Did she want me to react differently? How do you think I am? You don’t even know me – we are not friends. Of course I am not fine – I am embarrassed and now without a job!! WTF – This question clearly did bother me.
Tip: Do not ask the person who is being released if they are okay!
Maybe try saying nothing but what is on the letter….stick to the game plan.
She offered the worse kind of sympathy – which helped as I didn’t want to show her any of my vulnerability or shame around her. It helped me get quickly back in control. I was ready to leave – let’s end this awkwardness please! Let’s all move on. Bandaid moment.
So at the end of November 2017, mid-week and before 9 am, I was let go of my job in due to ‘cost reductions’ – it’s not you, it’s me feedback.
And YES of course it sucked. I am human.
Tip a: Be prepared as the Leader. Go over the plan with the HR person before hand – assign roles. Have the room prepped – tissue, water and paper (like an interview). Ensure the ‘after’ game planned for multiple scenarios.
Tip b: Communicate immediately after to their direct team. This will prevent any stories from forming – control the message, control the true story.
Walk of Shame
After I left the boardroom they brought me my winter coat, purse, messenger bag and a picture of my kids that I asked them to grab from my desk. That’s all I needed (the rest would come later) – but I got a bonus item of my big grey office blanket. I started to laugh again as now in my arms were my jacket, bag(s), dismissal papers, notebook and blanket.
I quickly got myself organized in front of reception – while currently-employed staff are coming into the office staring at me asking what’s happening.
With blanket in hands I walked out the door with what ever dignity I had left.
Tip: Leave any blankets behind…
As part of the game plan – let the individual know that you will personally take care of ensuring their stuff is packaged up sent it to them as soon as possible.
As I walked out of the building I had to walk past the smokers to my car across the street. Internally I was feeling full on shame, failure and embarrassment. Externally I was very mindful of my pride. It had to be super obvious to those smoking on what just went down. I started to laugh and tear up (no one could see) – this was my walk of shame moment. Strut Jen – Strut your ASS OFF!!
What else was going through my head?
OMG & Holly Shit I was just fired/released/let go!! Me!! This just happened to ME. BUT I didn’t feel alone….that was a shocker of a feeling to recognize. I wasn’t alone. I knew I was going to be okay. And then I started to laugh – I called it!! Damn Girl you are good – blaahhahahah !
All the greats have been fired – this is NOT the end of the world. I am still alive – and warm as I have my blanket with me blahahaha.
This was one of my missing pieces of corporate world experiences.
- Being Let go – Check!
Inner Critic Moment – Fear of Judgement: I wasn’t the only one that was released that day – there were a few of us. Oddly enough that did make it better to be honest and then felt very selfish to think that. I was honoured to be their first of the day – their trial run? I do hope they did better with the others that followed.
December 2017
A couple days after the walk out I was still alive and everyone still loved me. My tribe, family and friends rallied around me. They were so furious with my situation, so I was also coaching them off the cliff of anger and disappointment in now my ex-employer.
In the end my inner circle thought this was the best thing ever to happen to me – at least they were trying to convince me this….but I already knew it was too. I was going to be okay. Everything happens for a reason was thrown every where I turned.
What’s Next for Me?
I didn’t run out right away to find the next pay cheque – I had some time to reflect on what had just happened and what I wanted to do next. Also I really wanted to enjoy Christmas – to actual be present for it.
For my next Job – I wanted to choose where I went next. I wanted to research for companies that I wanted to work for; to ensure that my next adventure would include personal and team development, a fun work environment, a transparent culture, and the ability to make a real difference. Finally, I want to be a part of something great!
Advice: Put yourself first – always. You have permission to be selfish, mindful, and empowered to be great. You choose your path – not the other way around.
A Sign!
In January I put my name in the hat for a job that I had over-researched and had convinced myself that I wanted. I was more than qualified for the role. But that was the problem I was trying to convince myself this is what I wanted. My gutt, my heart and my life was screaming at me NO – don’t do this! This is not what I wanted at all!! My Inner Critic and my intuition were in a battle – it was so hard and uncomfortable. What I was so worried about was the pressure I was putting on my family.
My intuition was telling me (loudly) this job (or any others I was looking at) would not make me happy. The guilt was becoming so overwhelming. I didn’t want to go back into this world; I wanted to do something that made a real difference (and not that made other people more money). And I wanted to work for me!
Let the Brainstorming begin! So many ideas, new businesses ventures and money making ideas. There was always one idea that I had considered – however an unauthorized psychic told me (well she laughed at the idea I confessed to her) to not do what I was thinking. Two other psychics told me to do it (#headsmack).
Advice: Do not believe a psychic that also tell you that you are suppose to have six kids, and you will have twins within a year!
Yes – full dumb ass moment.
Light Bulb Moment
And then it happened – my Therapist suggested that I should be a Life Coach. YEAH!!!
I was immediately excited as this was exactly what I wanted desperately to hear. I was waiting for permission to do it – darnit – wrong mentality!!! She gave me that permission I did not need – maybe it was a nudge? I am so grateful she did – my sign/nudge was finally here. No more ignoring my calling – I was running hard and fast with this.
Finally – I was ready to get back to work.
Here I am – Today
So here I sit in my favorite spot – Starbucks – telling my story to you about the day I was let go of my corporate job and what happened after!
Looking back at it all (all twenty years of it) – everything did happen for a reason. My experiences have got me to where I am right now and I am grateful.
Thank you for reading my story. For more on me – check this out.
Leaders (And HR): Tips On How To Let an Employee Go with Professionalism and Class:
- Own the decision. Do not pass the task onto to someone else.
- Employees future schedule – do not plan ahead and cancel or deny meetings before the release is done — this all can be done after, and done by HR or IT.
- Rip the bandaid – You are at this decision for a reason. Don’t delay letting someone go because you feel bad or worried of consequences. There is no ‘perfect time’.
- The day of the week and time of the day does matter.
- The meeting should be mid-week – Tues is ideal.
- The meeting should happen within the first 1/2 hour of their day.
- Be physically (and mentally) prepared :
- Go over the plan with the HR person before hand – assign roles. Rehearse if necessary – this will help with your own confidence.
- Have the room prepped and organized – tissue, water and paper (much like an interview). Ensure no one is scheduled for a meeting immediately before or after – keep a 15 min buffer.
- Contact (ASAP) payroll, IT and security/front desk about your game plan, set time expectations for the employees access to the building and email/files. Reinforce privacy and confidential information.
- Be transparent. Be honest. Show respect to the individual who is leaving – regardless of the situation. Please don’t fake sympathy or empathy – be you – be real. You are both humans at the table.
- Ensure the ‘after’ game plans covers multiple scenarios. Just in case.
- Communicate immediately after to their team(s) and others impacted. In person is best to address any concerns – as well to be able to read the body language of their worries. I am not saying go into damage mode – but I am saying be honest within reason and be human….change is hard even if you are not the one going through it.
- Take five minutes after it is over and write it all out. Document the meeting (questions/comments), the follow up conversations with the team(s) and any other details. A copy of the corporate msg should be captured as well – if one exists. File it away with the employees records. You never know if you will need this one day.
Photo Credits: Dane Deaner on Unsplash,Jonathan Francisca on Unsplash Jon Tyson on Unsplash Jose Antonio Gallego Vázquez on Unsplash